🧭 dflores 002

[loculus]

I found a [...] piece of correspondence inside the library's copy of Dead Until Dark. If you believe this to be yours, please DM me with a family-friendly general overview to confirm and I'll return both the letter and its supplemental materials to you. No questions as

NIKO.

Prior to your (well-deserved) promotion, where did you seek time alone?

MARYLE.

How long does cooling off take you these

Comments

[loculus]

I was with you until "nice." I didn't ask to be inundated to the secret sisterhood of this couple's correspondence.

[jaxsons]

Think of it like those cereal boxes that used to have toys in them. [...] The PG kind.

[loculus]

This feels more akin to opening a box of Count Crunch to find neon anal beads.

[jaxsons]

Yeah, don't think they had those in cereal boxes.

[loculus]

Are you sure? American breakfast foods always seemed like a lawless landscape.

[jaxsons]

Not in my house, at least.

[loculus]

It's beginning to sound like perhaps you missed out.

[jaxsons]

Or dodged a bullet that would make breakfast awkward forever.

[...] ST FLORES.
Can I ask for your advice on something?

[loculus]

Think of the marshmallow-shaped nipple clamps you could own, St. James.

st flores.
I may not be Of course.

[jaxsons]

Please stop ruining fond memories for me.

st flores.
I'm not going to be cute and pretend this is a hypothetical; this is a real thing happening right now. If your first boyfriend died, then your second relationship ended miserably, and you decided to write off dating because you were afraid of commitment again, but [...] then realized you might possibly have [....] feelings for a friend. What would you want to do about it? Would you do anything, or suck it up and ignore the feelings?

[loculus]

No.

st flores.
[...] It would depend entirely upon whom my eyes had heart had become preoccupied with.

St Flores

[jaxsons]

[....] It's Jamie.

St Flores

[loculus]

Handsome, smart, resourceful, and kind. You have good taste. What was your first relationship like?

St Flores

[jaxsons]

Paul wasn't that much different actually. He made me laugh a lot. He was so fucking good.

I don't know if that means I'm looking for Paul in Jamie because our relationship ended on tragic terms, because I do still think about him.

St Flores

[loculus]

Jackson, you'll never stop thinking about the good you've lost. There's nothing wrong with that; carrying those pieces of our people is often all we have and remembering what they did for us is our privilege.


Was your second relationship similar to your first?

St Flores

[jaxsons]

He was my first love. I didn't get to mourn him because I was Veiled not long after, and he deserved that.

So my second relationship was Ronen.

St Flores

[loculus]

What he deserved but didn't get is the Architects' fault, never yours.

That doesn't answer my question as I've never dated Ronen.

St Flores

[jaxsons]

I know that. Except his family was Veiled, too, and someone has to remember the good he did in the Fall. Someone has to keep his memory alive.

Ronen was different. He was always, always good to me. You know him: he always puts others before himself, and that started to weigh on me. He didn't take care of himself, while I was wrestling with my own issues. I wanted him to love himself as much as I loved him, but he wasn't interested in that. I loved him, I'll always have a place for him in my heart, but I had to set boundaries before he took me down with him.

St Flores

[loculus]

And you're doing well, Jax.

[...] An unfortunate situation but not precedent for a pattern I see you and Jamie repeating, should you take that path. [...] If I were you—that is, a person full of empathy and care who excels with a focus—then I would pursue my friend. I would want to share myself with someone who would appreciate and adore me, and I'd want to find whatever moments of escape I could with them.

St Flores

[jaxsons]

Yeah?

St Flores

[loculus]

Without a doubt.

St Flores

[jaxsons]

I'll think about it. I don't want to fuck up our friendship.

St Flores

[loculus]

It doesn't always have to if the foundation's strong enough; Maryle and I didn't work out and we're [...] only grew closer after our romance concluded.

St Flores

[jaxsons]

I hope ours is. He is one of my best friends.

St Flores

[loculus]

You're not someone easy to simply cast aside.