veilbreak | (no subject)

CHARACTERS: Jamie & Jax
WHAT: On the eve of a historically bad day, confessions are made.
WHEN: Later evening
WHERE: Jax's office
WARNINGS: S for smoochies

It was late. Honestly, Jamie wasn't sure why he was still awake let alone walking around the ship when he should be tucked in bed fighting for sleep. But he was feeling unsettled after Jax stayed over. There were moments in the last few days that brought Jamie some clarity on his feelings for Jax and realizing you had feelings for your best friend was more difficult to accept than Jamie thought.

His feet stopped in front of Jax's office door. Jamie wasn't even sure what he was going to say to Jax, but he knew he had to say something or it would continue to run circles in his head. He knocked softly, leaning his head against the door waiting for a response. "Jax?" Jamie called out.

"Come on in, J," was the immediate reply through the door.

Rather than dwelling on his own feelings after his conversation with Dom, especially on the cusp of his least favourite day of the year, Jax had set to the task of tidying his office. Which would potentially stop being his office in time if volunteering became a reality.

He angled a small smile over his shoulder when the younger man let himself in. "Hey. You're up late."

Jamie let out a sigh as he entered the office. No turning back now.

"I could say the same thing to you," he returned Jax's smile. "Do you usually wait until this time of night to clean up your office?" Jamie leaned against the desk, attempting to act natural.

A manila folder was slipped into its place. "Only on special days. The quiet's kinda nice." And keeping busy delayed his thoughts from doing Olympic running events. To keep from having to meet his friend's eyes right away, he continued with the motions, swallowing. "What's up?"

"It is nice," Jamie agreed and began picking at something on the edge of the desk, he needed to give his hands something to do. "Oh, you know, nothing really. Just wanted to stop by and see if you were here. I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd say hi." This was probably the worst explanation of what he was doing up at this time but he was suddenly finding it hard to put sentences together.

"Well," Jax laughed weakly. "Hi." There was something tense in the air: he'd known Jamie for long enough to understand when something might be up or bothering him. Momentarily shelving his feelings away along with the last thick folder, he vacated his place to join Jamie at the desk, easing himself onto it next to him. "Something on your mind?"

Jamie stopped mindlessly fiddling with the desk to look up and meet Jax's eyes. His proximity did nothing to help clear the fog sitting dense in his brain. "Kind of, yes." He paused. "I'm being ridiculous and you can tell me that I'm being ridiculous, but I — um. When you stayed over the other night, it felt like maybe there was a moment? Between us. And I've been trying to tell myself there wasn't. We're friends. But I just needed to talk about it, I guess." Jamie fumbled over his words, unsure if he had made any sense.

Oh. Shit. Any confidence that Jax had felt on the walk over immediately began to crack and fall away, his already racing heart doing him no favours with staying collected. He tongued the roof of his mouth and gripped the edge of the desk tightly with both hands. "Would it… be a problem if there had been?"

This felt like a big question and maybe Jamie hadn't properly prepared himself for how this conversation was going to go. Or how it could go because this wasn't what he was expecting. It took a few moments for him to respond, he needed a few deep breaths to stabilize himself, "I don't think so, I think it would only be a problem if we weren't on the same page."

Jax's eyes swept over his face to see what words weren't saying alone. He'd known their entire friendship that Jamie was gorgeous, but the fact was particularly startling now. That gaze fell to the desk, and after a couple beats, he moved his hand closer to Jamie's, hooking their pinkies together in lieu of taking an entire hand. "Then there was. A moment," he clarified. "Honestly, I feel like there've been a couple lately, but I thought it might be just…me feeling that way. I didn't want to make assumptions about how you felt, though I guess that's what I did, anyway."

Jamie's stomach did a full somersault, reminiscent of what he might've felt as a teenager. He looked down at their hands and then back up at Jax, nodding. "There have been, but I convinced myself I was just imagining things. It was actually really nice when you stayed. I liked waking up to you," he moved his hand fully over Jax's. "I'm glad I wasn't making things up."

The warm sensation roiling up through Jax's middle was a welcome change to how wretched he'd been feeling all day. This was comfortable, safe — like coming home. He laced their fingers together, before drawing their joined hands up and pressing a lingering kiss to the back of Jamie's. "C'mere," he whispered, pulling on the hand to encourage the other man to stand up.

Without a second thought, Jamie followed Jax's lead. He closed the distance between them and nudged Jax's legs open with his hip, moving in closer when they opened up. "Better?" he grinned and slipped his free hand around the other man's waist.

"Much." The smile in return was gentle, and Jax ran his hands up the side of Jamie's arms, just taking him in at first while he bracketed slim hips with his thighs. His fingers trailed along neck and jawline, his thumb eventually brushing the corner of Jamie's lips. "I liked waking up to you, too. Thanks for not letting me sleep on the floor."

A small shiver ran through Jamie's body as he felt Jax's hands move down his arms. It was a good feeling. "I wouldn't have let you sleep on the floor, but I did try to leave a respectable amount of space between us. Not that it worked," he said while moving his hand up to the back of Jax's head, threading his fingers through the hair there. Gently, he pulled the other man's face closer to his own and pressed a soft kiss to Jax's lips; testing the water.

It had been a while since Jax had felt this way about a kiss. Over the last few years, they had ranged from passionate to sweet and everything inbetween, but kissing Jamie seemed – right. Special. He rested his hand fully against Jamie's cheek, stroking the soft skin just beneath his glasses, and sweetly returned the kiss.

This was nice, nicer than Jamie could've imagined and it was something he had thought about over the last few days, more than he'd like to admit. The following kiss was more insistent, less hesitant. He tightened his grip on the back of Jax's head, now that he had started kissing him he did not want to stop.

There all at once seemed like too much space between them, despite there being barely any at all, and long legs hooked behind Jamie to crush him even closer. When there was a moment taken for air, Jax immediately wanted to move back in, but took the opportunity to breathe against Jamie's lips: "This a good time tell you how sexy you are?"

"Hmmm," Jamie hummed happily, "I like hearing you say that." And not because Jamie felt he needed to return the compliment, but because he genuinely felt it, he replied, "I hope you know you are too." His other hand moved to Jax's jaw, softly stroking his face, a burning happiness bubbling in his stomach.

Smaller kisses were pressed to Jamie's lips, each one equal parts teasing and wanting. "How'd you feel about me coming back to your room tonight? We'll leave a little room for Jesus, but mostly I want to feel your arms awake this time."

An exasperated huff escaped from Jamie's mouth, "This is one of those moments I really wish the rooming situation was different here." He placed another kiss to Jax's lips. "Yes, I'd like you to stay. I want to wake up with you on your birthday," he knew Jax's birthday wasn't easy for him and hoped that maybe this would ease some of the negativity he held around the day.

In the rush of all this emotion, Jax had forgotten that was why he was in his office in the first place. He wouldn't fake a smile for Jamie's sake, allowing his expression to shutter briefly before easing the younger man closer to rest their foreheads together. "Chase away the nightmares for me?"

It might have been a bad idea, reminding Jax of the day. He hated seeing the realization flicker across the other man's face. It was done now and he couldn't take it back. He nodded against Jax's forehead, "I can do that. I can do whatever you want to help make it better." His arms wrapped around the older man's neck, comforting him.

Jax took a deep breath and slid both hands up his back. He had to ground himself again or risk floating away. "I'll try to focus on what's here and not what's behind me," he promised softly, to both of them but mostly to himself. "Dibs on little spoon?"

"I think that's a fantastic idea, but on the days when it's harder I'll be there for you." Jamie raised his head and pressed a kiss into Jax's forehead. "I think I can manage that," he laughed softly.

The exhale out of Jax this time was of relaxation. Pulling back, he peered up into Jamie's face with a fond shine in his eyes, then leaned in to brush their lips again, slow and tender. "Warm up the sheets for me. I'm gonna finish up these last couple folders here."

"So you're really just using me for a warm bed. I see how it is," Jamie joked as he slowly untangled himself from the other man, who simply raised his brows and smiled. "Don't take too long. We should both try to get some sleep," he gave Jax one more kiss before he stepped back to make his way out of the office. If he didn't make himself leave now he knew he never would.

When the door slipped shut, Jax huffed a disbelieving laugh into his fist.

Maybe it wouldn't be another awful birthday after all.