veilbreak | CJACOBS: 002

Entry tags:

CJACOBS: 002

Maryle and I were able to pull data from the CPU delivered by Cal and Eva.

The Sterilization Event was triggered by a significant group of people in Xitang being partially severed from the veil. 20 self-reports were evaluated by HDroids, which identified a specific defect in the neural implants. HDroids fixed the imperfections and relinked to the Veil. However, anti-Architect graffiti began to pop up around the city, indicating more people had defective implants other than the 20 self-reports.

Mass scans revealed that the entire city had spontaneously partially severed. This triggered three protocols:

The sterlization protocol in Xitang. We disrupted this.
Mandatory inspection check by HDroids for anyone with chips that were implanted in 2005 is currently ongoing.
A relocation effort of all defective implants to Sighisoara, Romania by Feb 28. This is for another sterilization protocol.

Issues

Do any Dislinked agents have a chip that was implanted in 2005? If so, they are going to end up being noticed as not on the radar.
How to deal with Sighisoara, Romania?

Do we fully sever the evacuees, or relink them? Being in a prolonged partial state can trigger catastrophic neural regression. Relinking them and re-integrating them into other pres cities would keep them protected.

How do we deal with our agents who had chips in 2005?

[Engineering]

Do any of you have a 2005 implant?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Unfortunate. You get one.

Give me all five and I will [...] answer five questions honestly.

Fine.

Eva didn't really speak with Alba the entire time we were there, and though she hasn't stated it outright, I know going there was painful for her. Additonally, she is finally starting to speak to me about her feelings about when I left, and the guilt I still hold for that is immense. I could have figured something out, but I had already destroyed Alba. I didn't want to destroy her, as well.

What do you want to happen with Domingo?

You believed you were doing the right thing. She is, of course, entitled to her feelings about it, and I understand why you might feel guilty — but what you did was entirely understandable. More importantly, it belongs to the past. You can listen to her, acknowledge her feelings, and give them the respect they deserve, but there is no value in excoriating yourself over something that can no longer be changed.

[…]

Truthfully, I'm not entirely sure. To say he's only interested in sex doesn't feel quite accurate. And, in any case, we aren't exactly carrying on some fling~~, though~~. Still, I don't believe he's interested in pursuing anything resembling a relationship ~~with me~~. For now, the present [...] arrangement suits well enough.

I know. I'm glad she's willing to discuss it, but everything surrounding that decision is one of my greatest failures.

[...] Alba signed the divorce paperwork years ago and simply waited for me to come collect them. I brought Philip into our marital house and even though she knew exactly who he was to me, she didn't bat an eye. I'm aware it has been more than two decades since we last saw each other, nearly as long as she's had that damnable implant, but despite having my own peace with this failure, I wanted her to acknowledge it. I wanted the fight we would have had before. And she is incapable of giving that.

And there is the guilt. She is still wearing her wedding ring. I am not. She has not moved on and I have. I flaunted that in her face by bringing my lover with me, and she made up the guest room for us. She deserves better.

[...] I see. 'Suits well enough.' Does it really?

It's a strange thing, interacting with Veiled loved ones and finding them reduced to something like a shadow of who they once were. I wish I had a better answer for you, or something more useful to say, but all I can offer is that I'm sorry. I truly am. If I could take that hurt from you, I would. What I can say is that I don't think it's something you should feel guilty about. It's been two decades. If she hasn't moved on, that isn't your fault.

Domingo and I are presently engaged in what you might consider a [...] written dalliance. You're aware of certain preferences I have, and he accommodates them through correspondence, though he remains hesitant about the idea of anything more regular in person. Reservations about me, I suspect. I would, of course, prefer otherwise, but that's not something I have any control over.

Things are changing with Philip. I want things to change, but I cannot shake the feeling that I will destroy him the way I destroy everyone else I have ever cared for. I am not an easy man to be with, as you well know. I'm stubborn and proud and more likely to fight my way through a conversation. We've talked a little about changing things, and I know he wants to continue the conversation, but I'm [...] afraid to do that. And despite that fear, I still bought him a gift that signifies how serious I am about him and our relationship, though I'm considering not giving it to him. Not yet, anyway.

What reservations do you think he has, Nikola?

A gift that signifies how serious you are about him and your relationship?

Nikola.

A ring. Are you proposing?

I'm not proposing. I wouldn't put him in that position.

But it is a ring, which exemplifies long-term commitment. I I think that's wonderful, Adrían, truly.

I don't want to invalidate your feelings, but I do think you're being rather silly. Some of us have known you for 10+ years and you haven't destroyed us. It is natural to be nervous, of course, but I think Pip is well-accustomed to you. It will be fine. It may be rocky at times, but you two will make it work.

[...] It is, and it does. There are two people I've committed myself to, though I'm only recently willing to admit that.

Perhaps.

Notes in my research reminded me that I originally flirted with the idea of flooding the PAG with Neuropeptide Y. At the time, due to limited technology at the time, I discarded the idea, but now, I think if we can trigger the Neuroclast while simultaneously flooding the amygdala with NPY, I can reduce the risks by another 1% to 2% overall.

What are you thinking about right now?

I find myself thinking that while I'm very happy for you and Philip — and while it's for the best that I am not the great love of your life, nor you of mine — I can't help wondering why I am not. And whether I will ever be the great love of anyone's life, considering how

I'm a little surprised. Jackson seems rather close with James these days.

[...] Adrían, that's incredible. What would you need to accomplish this?

I'm thinking about seeing this ring of yours. I will be honest if it's hideous.

Jax? [...] Are you entirely serious right now? And no, that does not count as my last question.

There are models I will need to run. There is a risk inherent in that sort of stimulation, but if we can control the release, that risk is minimal.

It's a simple band.

Why wouldn't I be serious?

Let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you.

[...] Well, that sounds tasteful, but I'd still like to see it.

Nikola. You are the other one I have unfortunately committed myself to. Utter insanity on my part, yet here we are. Which leads to my fifth: I worry about you and your happiness, and now because of this implant situation. I want you to have what you want, yet I know that I will be wildly jealous when you are no longer mine.

Fine.

Did you hit your head.

I ask myself this daily. Alas, I have not.

You're so good at sharing parts of yourself with more than one person. You do this so well, I admire it. Sometimes I wish I could be like that. Having several arrangements, that I can manage. But I can't pretend it doesn't hurt a little to hear that you have a commitment to me, and then also hear how serious you are about Philip. There is a ring involved. To be clear, I do not resent either of you for this. I'm not jealous or bitter. We are best friends — more than that, really. What we have is strong and steady and something only we share. But Philip is the center of your world. And I think I want, one day, to be that for someone — to be the most important person, without question.

[...] I very nearly got one for you. There was a gold band with delicate filigree that I know would make your hands look more elegant than they already are. I could picture it so clearly, that ring on your finger, and I wanted to put it there.

You are right. Philip is the center of my world, and I can no longer picture my life without him. But it was both of you who stitched the jagged pieces of my broken heart back together. I love you fiercely and in totality, Nikola. I am yours in a way that I am no one else's.

But you deserve to be the center of someone's world. And I want that for you. ~~Domingo is~~ I want you to be with someone who has no hesitations in their feelings for you, who puts you first in all things. ~~I hate that I cannot be~~

I truly don't know what to say to this, Adrían.

I love you, of course, but you already know that. You're one of the most important people in my life, and that won't ever change, no matter who either of us is with. Perhaps there is a world in which you do buy me that ring, and we're together in some real way. But it's not a world I've ever truly allowed myself to imagine, because you and Philip both mean so much to me, and I would never want to reach for something that isn't mine to claim. Not on this level, at least. You and Philip make each other happy, and your happiness means everything to me.

I do deserve to be the center of someone's world, and I have to believe that one day I will be. I want to have what you and Philip have. And when that happens, I hope you'll know that our relationship is something entirely different — untouchable and unchanged by anything else.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

UNSENT.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

no subject

no subject

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.