veilbreak | (no subject)

CHARACTERS: Jamie and Kit
WHAT: knitting lessons & a gift
WHEN: a year ago & earlier this week
WHERE: Kit's room
WARNINGS: nah

Some days the Mnemosyne feels more claustrophobic than usual as if it’s closing in on Jamie and everyone aboard. On these days all he wants to do is feel fresh air on his skin and ground underneath his feet, not the metal of this ship suspended in air. Instead of dwelling on sensations he won’t be enjoying today, Jamie finds something to distract him or rather someone.

He decides to look for Kit who always manages to cheer him up, but he’s not in any of his normal haunts, which is curious because he doesn’t think any of the ground forces have been deployed. A quick knock on Kit’s room announces Jamie’s presence, “Kit are you in?” He calls through the door, bouncing from one foot to another. “It’s Jamie,” he adds in case his voice is unknown to the other man.

The door opens a second later. "Hey, what's up?" Kit's brow is furrowed. It's not that it isn't a pleasure to see Jamie— it always is— but he doesn't recall them having plans. "Everything good?"

Jamie runs his hand through his hair, maybe he should have checked first whether Kit was up for company. It isn’t terribly pleasant to have company thrust upon oneself when they’re not expecting it.

“Fine, fine” he says twice as if it wouldn’t be believed otherwise. “Just restless is all. And I wanted to see what you were doing,” he offers a brief smile. “Everything okay with you?”

"Yeah, everything's fine." The answer is automatic; everything is always fine with Kit, even when it isn't. He steps aside as opens the door wider. "Come in and we'll find something to help with your restlessness, okay?" What, he doesn't know, and he glances around his room, searching for inspiration. "Orrrr we could go run laps and tire you out."

“No laps, please.” A breathy laugh escapes Jamie’s lips. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He steps into Kit’s room accepting his invitation without question. He doesn’t like pushing, everyone has bad days given the circumstances they live in every day. It doesn’t mean that the slightest change in mannerisms doesn’t raise an eyebrow. “I can always bug Carl,” he has to offer an escape if he’s intruding.

Kit offers a smile. "Jamie." His tone is gentle and fond. "If your presence would bug me, I would have made up an excuse rather than invite you inside. You're fine. And really, I'm as fine as one can be, given the whole state of the world." Or, well. Kit isn't actively panicked or stressed about something, which is as close to a win as one could get.

Not that he would have confessed if he were panicked or stressed.

Kit’s response immediately calms Jamie’s worries, “I had to make sure. You could have just been accommodating my boredom. You never know.” He shoots a smile at Kit and looks around the small room, before plopping on Kit’s bed – the bag containing his knitting supplies landing on his lap. “We do the best we can in a very non-normal situation,” he pats the bed beside him inviting Kit to sit on his own bed. “I have a project for you if you’re interested.”

Kit's head tilts, curious. "A project?" He repeats. His first thought is that this is a very odd come on, but a bag of toys feels off brand for Jamie so surely that assumption is wrong. "What kind of project?" But Kit trusts him so he takes a seat beside him.

Jamie nods, realizing that perhaps Kit thought Jamie’s motivation for coming over was the normal reason. So a bag of knitting supplies might not be what he is expecting. “Well, when I was first unVeiled, my mind was always too loud. I felt like I couldn’t pay attention to anything except for the overwhelming emotions. So eventually I picked up a hobby.” He opens the bag on his lap to reveal yarn and knitting needles. “Things can be tough, so I wanted to teach you. If you want” Jamie grins hopefully at Kit.

Kit stares silent for a moment before he laughs. "I never would have guessed that's the project you had in mind." But while there's a teasing lift to his tone, there's affection there too. He hadn't expected Jamie to knit, but it's not a shock either. "Yeah. You can teach me as long as you don't laugh if I'm bad at it." If strikes him as wildly optimistic; when is likely the more appropriate word.

“What did you think I was talking about?” Jamie asks playfully, raising an eyebrow.

Kit has the decency to look mildly sheepish. "You were inviting me to the bed. So…" he trails off with a shrug.

“We can revisit that thought, once the lesson is over,” he can’t help but let a smile spread across his face.

Kit smiles in return. "I will be sure to circle back."

With Kit’s agreement, Jamie starts taking things from the bag and hands Kit the items he’ll need to begin. “I won’t laugh at you if you don’t laugh at me for liking to knit.” He would never laugh at Kit even if he turns out to be bad, it took Jamie a long time to actually make anything that was usable. He’s just grateful that Kit is humoring him. “We’ll just start with something simple. If that goes well and you enjoy it, we can move on to something harder another time.”

"Why would I laugh at you?" Kit asks earnestly. "It's a useful and impressive skill." One perhaps most associated with older women, sure, but that's certainly no mark against knitting. "And if it helps you cope, all the better."

“Because this is not often a hobby of a 35 year old man, but it is useful isn’t it?” His favorite thing to knit is a sweater, but today they will just be working on something that might resemble a blanket. “We have to cope somehow. Okay here’s how we start,” he slowly casts a stitch onto his needle to begin. “Like that, do you want to try?”

Kit tugs his bottom lip between his teeth as he watches. Jamie makes it look easy, but he also suspects that he will find a way to mess it up, despite Jamie's instructions. But, well. You won't know unless you try. He nods resolutely. "Just remember, you promised not to laugh."

It’s been awhile since Jamie and Kit sat on Kit’s bed while Jamie attempted to teach him how to knit. It might not have been the most successful first lesson but it gave them a good distraction.

Now, Jamie is standing back in front of Kit’s door, canvas bag hooked over his left arm. Inside is a nicely wrapped gift for Kit. Something Jamie has been working on in any spare moment he finds during the day. He hopes Kit likes it. He raises his hand to wrap sharply on Kit’s door. “It’s me!” Jamie’s voice revealing his identity without needing to provide a name.

"Hey!" Kit opens the door and ushers Jamie inside. "Don't be mad at me, I have made no progress since our last session," he confesses as he collapses onto the bed. He has come to enjoy knitting with Jamie but the real appeal is the with Jamie aspect of it. It doesn't soothe him in quite the same way it does his friend and it's not his preferred coping mechanism when he's on his own. Still, he enjoys spending time together, working on a project to unwind from the stress of existing.

Jamie kicks his shoes off and claims a space at the edge of Kit’s bed. “What a terrible student you’re turning out to be, I’m so angry,” he pulls a pretend mad face, but it doesn’t last long. Jamie can’t help it, it’s hard not to have a smile on when he’s around Kit. “You’re getting better though, you should be proud of yourself.” He knew that it wasn’t about knitting for either of them, if Jamie wanted to work on a knitting project he could and did do it in his own room, but he liked their time together. The feeling of sharing something with someone you cared about was nice. And they should have some nice things in life.

“Before we get settled in I actually wanted to give you something.”

"Are you sure it's not a lecture on how I'm a disappointing student?" Kit quips quickly. It's perhaps easier to believe he is a disappointment than someone worth giving gifts to; he can't fathom what Jamie has for him.

“Do you want a lecture? I used to be a teacher, I’m sure I can remember one I’ve given in the past” he teases. “No, I actually have something for you.” Jamie takes the wrapped sweater from his bag. There isn’t a stock of wrapping paper on the ship so he’s made do with what is available — brown paper and twine. It’s a little messy and not up to par with Jamie’s standards but he’s had to get over that. Jamie hands it to Kit, nervous all of a sudden that maybe it’s not good enough to give. “If you don’t like it I can always make something else. I just thought you’d look good in it.”

It takes a moment before his brain locks onto make and then Kit's eyes go wide. "You made this? For me?" Are you sure, he wants to ask. Surely there is someone more deserving, Jax or Ara maybe. That doesn't stop him from opening the package, careful not to rip the paper, and revealing a dark green sweater. It's beautiful. He thumbs the material gently and it's so soft, and he can only guess how many hours this took and he still doesn't understand why him. "Are you sure?" he blurts out the question before he can stop himself.

Although Jamie has known Kit for several years and is accustomed to Kit's reaction in these types of situations, it still takes a second for Jamie to absorb Kit's incredulity. “Yes, I made it for you.” Months ago, maybe even longer at this point, Jamie noticed all of Kit’s sweaters, how good he looked in them, and wanted him to have one that Jamie made. A laugh burst from his mouth, not loud or mocking, but soft. He should have expected this. “I’m one hundred percent sure, I want you to have it.” He reaches his hand over to Kit’s knee and squeezes it. “Unless it’s ugly, then I won’t make you keep it.”

Kit shakes his head. "God no, it's not that. It's amazing, I love it. It's just—" He pauses for a moment, twisting his hands in his lap. "It's the nicest gift I've ever received. No one has ever made anything like this for me before." No one had ever put in this much effort for him, and he doesn't know how to express how touched he is. "You really didn't have to do this," he adds, voice soft.

Jamie’s heart breaks a little at Kit’s words. “I’m glad you like it,” he replies. If there was one thing he was going to do, it’s show his friends that they matter to him. And he likes making things for people, especially when they like them. “I wanted to. You deserve nice things and it can get cold up here on the ship. So I thought it might be practical too.” He pauses for a second, “don’t get any ideas. You’re not at a sweater making level yet. But we’ll get you there.”

The sincerity is almost too much for Kit, and he shifts, feeling self-conscious and undeserving. He believes Jamie thinks he's worthy of such gifts— but Kit remains unconvinced. He nearly objects but Jamie's final words make him laugh instead. "Well, fuck," he exhales. "And here I thought I would churn out a sweater in a day. Devastating."

“I wanted to let you down gently! A sweater in a day would be impressive.” Jamie interjects briefly.

Kit hesitates. He could leave it there, could choose to keep making jokes because it's more comfortable and easier than being vulnerable. But Jamie deserves better than that.

"One day though," he pledges, serious once more even as he feels his skin warm. He ignores the urge to pace, instead flexing his hands against his knees. "I'll get there and return the favor. It won't look as nice as this one and it will probably take me twice as long but. Thank you though. This means the world."

“There’s no need to,” he wants Kit to understand that this doesn’t have to be a reciprocal gift. Sometimes it’s okay to give something to someone without expecting anything in return. But maybe Kit isn’t there with gifts yet. “But you’re welcome. And I’ll never say no to a gift. Thanks for suffering through knitting lessons,” he smiles at Kit, an air of a joke in his tone.

This calls for earnestness once more because Jamie deserves to know he's appreciated and important, even though such sincerity makes Kit anxious and jittery. He runs his hands down his thighs, pressing hard into the skin with the heel of his palms as if to stop his legs from bouncing— or perhaps to keep him rooted in place rather than to give in to the instinct to stand and look away. "Nah," he answers with a shake of his head, still facing Jamie but not quite meeting his gaze. "There's no suffering when I'm spending time with you."

The atmosphere in the room shifts almost imperceptibly, Jamie senses Kit’s nerves and isn’t sure if acknowledging them will help or make things worse. He decides on the latter, if Kit wants to talk about it he can decide on the timing. It isn’t Jamie’s place to push at this, at least right now. “Good, I wouldn’t like it if there was” this time, he’s entirely serious.

Kit nods and clears his throat as sets the sweater beside him on the bed. "Thank you again though. Do you want to get started?"

“Any time, well maybe with a couple month lead time.” Jamie nods, “yes, let’s get some knitting done.”