veilbreak | aaldana 001.

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aaldana 001.

This has already been approved by Verin and leadership. This is not a debate on if we should. It is a debate on how.

We will be going forward with additional experimentation to further stabilise the Neuroclast. To do this, we will be taking volunteers among those who have had an implant that is not TIF. The process will include baseline and progressive scans, temporary monitored linking to the Veil and exponentially increasing exposure to experimental Neuroclast packets while simultaneously stimulating the dorsolateral and ventrolateral PAG when disconnecting from it. The goal is to get below a 4% risk of side effects when disrupting or destroying a node.

This procedure is not without risk, and the risks include: chronic pain (headaches/migraines, shooting or radiating pain stemming from the neck down), paralysis/spastic limbs, death.

Volunteers would need to understand and accept the risks as well as undergo a thorough psychological examination. We would need 3-5 volunteers, and where to source those volunteers is the current issue at hand. My personal preference would be to take volunteers from onboard Mnemosyne. Others have suggested we take volunteers from the unVeiled cities. There is also an option for a mixture from both.

Neither sourcing is without risk. We already operate at a resource deficit, and taking agents further increases that deficit. If that volunteer is in a leadership role, we risk years of knowledge and experience. If we take from the cities, it's a security risk to bring them onboard. Propaganda will spread further of us being like the Architects in that we are choosing not to experiment from within.

We're leaving it up you all to decide how we source volunteers. Again, this will be happening, so spare me the ethics debate of experimenting on humans. If there was another way, chances are we've already tried it.

NIKO.

What's going on with you and Domingo? The flirting is obnoxious. Just fuck already.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Fine, but I can't promise to use it if it's too soft.

It wouldn't be soft, but we cannot afford to alienate people or cripple morale. How we communicate matters almost as much as what we do. And if we are, for all intents and purposes, throwing ethics out the airlock, the least we can do is ensure people don't feel dismissed or made small in the process.

Let Maryle review your research. Hear Ronen's concerns in full. Be explicit that this is not something you want to do — that you don't fundamentally disagree with them — but that, as things stand, it is the only viable option.

Because you don't want to do this. Right?

Everyone is acting as though this is the first time we've bypassed an ethical line.

I will hear Ronen out after he's calmed down. I will give Bone access to the summaries but not the details - she isn't trained to read the results and accurately assess them.

Fine.

[...] And I apologize for what I said about convenience. That was out of line.

I'm staying in my office for the foreseeable future. Your apology is noted.

Adrían, come on.

Edited 2026-02-03 21:33 (UTC)

I'm holding onto what is left of my sanity as my methods and ethics are called into question by everyone capable of typing an opinion. Forgive me if I don't want to be around another person who thinks the worst of me.

Adri, I could never think the worst of you. You are an extraordinary scientist, and what you’ve already accomplished surpasses what most people ever believed was possible. I have no doubt that this next step — however much it unsettles me — will be executed as well as it can be.

What gives me pause is the breadth of what could go wrong. The margin for side effects is wide enough to frighten all of us, and that fear is what you're hearing. This is not the same kind of risk as climbing into a plane to shoot down drones. It touches people we know and love in ways that are harder to predict or contain. I know you can understand that.

So please know this: my reaction was never a lack of faith in you. Of course I believe in you. I spoke badly, it was an absolutely wretched thing to say, and I regret it. But you are my best friend and one of the most important people in my life. Nothing you choose to do — nothing at all — could change that.

Edited 2026-02-03 21:51 (UTC)

Read

Edited (Soz Adri is not available to come to the screen rn) 2026-02-03 21:58 (UTC)

No, it's not the same. It's safer. The monitoring alone makes it safer because I can be warned when something is likely to go wrong. Philip doesn't get that whenever he gets into that damned plane. Eva doesn't get that when she's on the ground. None of them get that when they're out there. If something happens, it happens and they're dead or injured or back under the fucking Veil, putting everyone here in danger.

If you think that I haven't been through every damned scenario ad nauseum, or that I don't worry I'm not as smart as I pretend to be and that someone will die as a direct result of my actions, then you don't know me, Novak.

Edited 2026-02-03 23:14 (UTC)

I know you wouldn't consider this unless it was a last resort, Adrían.

It doesn't feel that way.

What do you need from me? What could I say or do that would make it clear this isn't true? If you truly want distance, then I'll accept that. I would just prefer that you didn’t retreat from me entirely, Adri.

You threw yourself and Philip in my face to try to prove a point, Niko.

Yes, I did. I'm sorry.

That wasn't fair.

No, it was not. If I could rewind to the start of this day and approach this conversation differently, I would.

And we can't do that, so here we are. I'm hurt and you're apologetic, and we'll be stuck like that until we aren't.

[...] OK. I'll leave you alone.

~~Will you~~
~~I don't wa~~

Thank you.

I'm still upset, but I have had time to think about what you said. Not just the extraordinarily low blow, but all of it.

I can understand that people are afraid and that they're reacting out of anger. I can understand that you are afraid and lashing out because of it since several people you care about have offered to volunteer should it come to that. And I know that part of this is residual fear, hurt, and anger over Domingo's situation because he is a prime example of what can happen if things go wrong.

I expected people to react poorly. I prepared for it because it is not ideal. Forcing value on lives based on their usefulness — and whatever you want to say, that is what you and others are doing, Nikola — is vile yet necessary. My preference to keep volunteers in house is more to do with ease of control in unknown factors, but as I've said, I'm not opposed to the other option provided you and Singh can guarantee they aren't security risks. I cannot do this on the ground. It has to be here.

In your frustration, you took the two most important people to me that isn't my daughter and publicly threw them in my face. Not only must you have known how deeply that would wound me, but doing it publicly only reinforced the idea that I do not care about the people aspect of all of this. Either because I have no one to lose because Philip is disqualified — despite Eva meeting the criteria of a volunteer and lessening my feelings for you — or because I am cold because I wouldn't talk you out of it despite loving you fiercely.

Regardless, it brings the legitimacy of this into question, inviting more speculation and reinforcing the idea that the outcomes will be unfavorable, which in turn invites speculation and doubt in me and my team. I am aware the percentages aren't as low as people would like, and I know that scares people. It scares me, and even if we disagreed on methodology, I had thought that you'd trust me enough to at least understand that and back me on it.

Edited (he's trying to be calm about this) 2026-02-04 17:11 (UTC)

As I said last night, what I did was out of line. It was an absolutely wretched thing to do. If I could go back and look at the situation from a calmer and more rational place, I would rewrite everything I said without hesitation. It was wrong to say it at all, and even worse to undermine you in public. I can't adequately convey how sorry I am for that. I never want to hurt you, or make you feel as though I don't trust you. You are extraordinarily important to me, and you mean more to me than I think I often manage to say out loud. If anything I said introduced doubt about that — about my faith in you, or my care for you — then it's further evidence of how badly I failed in that moment.

And for what it's worth: my refusal to "back you up" had nothing to do with you and everything to do with my own panic and my fear for the people aboard this ship. As you said, I let that fear override my judgment. I do have faith in you; I just didn't behave like someone who does, and I'm deeply ashamed of that.

If there is anything I can say or do — privately or publicly — to to make you feel more supported, I will gladly do it. I know repeating how sorry I am doesn't undo what I did. But I am. And I do trust you. ~~I will do whatever~~ ~~Whatever you want me to~~ If there is some way for me to prove that, then tell me what it is.

I know all of this, cari. And I'm not here to belabor the points or dig my heels in. At this point, what's done is done. You've made your points, I've made mine, and we are fine, Nikola.

We can just forget this happened.

Are you sure that's what you want?

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

no subject

no subject

Noldana - an hour later.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana.

Noldana - next afternoon.

Noldana - next afternoon.

Noldana - next afternoon.

Noldana - next afternoon.