aaldana 001.

[adrii]

This has already been approved by Verin and leadership. This is not a debate on if we should. It is a debate on how.

We will be going forward with additional experimentation to further stabilise the Neuroclast. To do this, we will be taking volunteers among those who have had an implant that is not TIF. The process will include baseline and progressive scans, temporary monitored linking to the Veil and exponentially increasing exposure to experimental Neuroclast packets while simultaneously stimulating the dorsolateral and ventrolateral PAG when disconnecting from it. The goal is to get below a 4% risk of side effects when disrupting or destroying a node.

This procedure is not without risk, and the risks include: chronic pain (headaches/migraines, shooting or radiating pain stemming from the neck down), paralysis/spastic limbs, death.

Volunteers would need to understand and accept the risks as well as undergo a thorough psychological examination. We would need 3-5 volunteers, and where to source those volunteers is the current issue at hand. My personal preference would be to take volunteers from onboard Mnemosyne. Others have suggested we take volunteers from the unVeiled cities. There is also an option for a mixture from both.

Neither sourcing is without risk. We already operate at a resource deficit, and taking agents further increases that deficit. If that volunteer is in a leadership role, we risk years of knowledge and experience. If we take from the cities, it's a security risk to bring them onboard. Propaganda will spread further of us being like the Architects in that we are choosing not to experiment from within.

We're leaving it up you all to decide how we source volunteers. Again, this will be happening, so spare me the ethics debate of experimenting on humans. If there was another way, chances are we've already tried it.

NIKO.

What's going on with you and Domingo? The flirting is obnoxious. Just fuck already.

Comments

Adrip.

[adrii]

I'm very calm, thank you.

Adrip.

[philiip]

I can see we're not going to agree on much today.

Adrip.

[adrii]

I'm not trying to be difficult but neither can I be unaffected by all of this. Intentions aside, it feels like neither of you trust me.

Adrip.

[philiip]

What can I say to make you feel otherwise?

Adrip.

[adrii]

There isn't anything you can say. Emotions aren't logical and don't resolve because of some pretty words.

Adrip.

[philiip]

What about u
You are THE most impos
Are you wi

All right. If you want me to come find you, I will. Otherwise, I'll give you space.

Adrip.

[adrii]

I want you to want
You n

I'm with Eva.

Adrip.

[philiip]

Acceptable.

Adrip.

[adrii]

Of course it is. She's obligated to care about my well being.

Adrip.

[philiip]

No one is f obligated to care about your well being. She loves you.

Adrip.

[adrii]

I know, but even that's complicated.

Adrip.

[philiip]

And rationalising it to death will help you how.

Adrip.

[adrii]

It will keep me from asking you for anything, for one.

Adrip.

[philiip]

Stop rationalising.

Adrip.

[adrii]

Why?

Adrip.

[philiip]

Beca Because it stops you people from demanding what they need.

Stop rationalising. Ask. [...] If not me, then someone.

Adrip.

[adrii]

Then why don't you ask more of me?

Adrip.

[philiip]

I thought I was already asking too much.

Adrip.

[adrii]

You don't ask me for anything, Philip. You make no demands of me.

Adrip.

[philiip]

That's how you see it?

Adrip.

[adrii]

Yes. How else am I supposed to see it?

Adrip - 30 minutes later.

[philiip]

Maybe I'm not as explicit about it as I could be, but after all this time, I thought we were at a point where I didn't have to be so obvious.

So, a list of some examples, because that's appropriate for us:

• You went back to that table when I first asked you. Then you kept coming back.
  
• I only had to ask you once outright if I could sleep on the side of the bed closest to the door. Next time, you remembered, and you've always respected that request.
  
• Every single time I've told you to kick Niko out.
  
• The nights you let me stay.
  
• The mornings you stay.

I know you prefer clean, emotional boundaries with people. I respect that. If I don't push, it's because I don' the last thing I want is to become an obli obligation. I've seen how you get when people are too emotional, too needy, and I selfishly never want to be looked at in that way by you.

Right now? I know you're upset about how people are responding to this project. But your reaction feels outsized in a way I can't explain. So I want you to ask someone (doesn't have to be me) for whatever will make getting past this easier for you.

Adrip.

[adrii]

Everything you've listed is bare minimum for a relationship, Philip. I would gladly give you more. I want to give you more. I thought it was clear that you are not like everyone else. I l Maybe I haven't.

Let me be clear: you are one of the few people I care about above all others. I want nothing about us to be clean and delineated. I do not treat you like I treat the other people I sleep with because you are different. You could never be an obligation to me.

Adrip.

[philiip]

Then you should give me more.

And ask for more too.

Adrip.

[adrii]

I can't give you anything without knowing what I should be giving. You mention little things I've picked up, like your preferred side of the bed: that was specific, requested. I'm not a mind reader, and I loathe guessing games. I need you to tell me when there is something you want or something you need.