aaldana 001.

[adrii]

This has already been approved by Verin and leadership. This is not a debate on if we should. It is a debate on how.

We will be going forward with additional experimentation to further stabilise the Neuroclast. To do this, we will be taking volunteers among those who have had an implant that is not TIF. The process will include baseline and progressive scans, temporary monitored linking to the Veil and exponentially increasing exposure to experimental Neuroclast packets while simultaneously stimulating the dorsolateral and ventrolateral PAG when disconnecting from it. The goal is to get below a 4% risk of side effects when disrupting or destroying a node.

This procedure is not without risk, and the risks include: chronic pain (headaches/migraines, shooting or radiating pain stemming from the neck down), paralysis/spastic limbs, death.

Volunteers would need to understand and accept the risks as well as undergo a thorough psychological examination. We would need 3-5 volunteers, and where to source those volunteers is the current issue at hand. My personal preference would be to take volunteers from onboard Mnemosyne. Others have suggested we take volunteers from the unVeiled cities. There is also an option for a mixture from both.

Neither sourcing is without risk. We already operate at a resource deficit, and taking agents further increases that deficit. If that volunteer is in a leadership role, we risk years of knowledge and experience. If we take from the cities, it's a security risk to bring them onboard. Propaganda will spread further of us being like the Architects in that we are choosing not to experiment from within.

We're leaving it up you all to decide how we source volunteers. Again, this will be happening, so spare me the ethics debate of experimenting on humans. If there was another way, chances are we've already tried it.

NIKO.

What's going on with you and Domingo? The flirting is obnoxious. Just fuck already.

Comments

[adrii]

Philip is TIF and therefore not an option. If you were to volunteer, I wouldn't stop you.

[oneirophrenic]

How convenient.

[adrii]

Convenient how?

Noldana.

[oneirophrenic]

Setting family aside, the person you love most cannot participate. Do you honestly believe that doesn't influence your position here?

Noldana.

[adrii]

No, Philip can't, but Eva could still participate. My daughter, who I already lost to the Architects once.

Noldana.

[oneirophrenic]

You wouldn't talk her out of it?

Noldana.

[adrii]

No. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to her because of it, but neither could I live with myself for trying to talk her out of it.

I trust the science. I trust myself. I trust my team. I have to.

Noldana.

[oneirophrenic]

It's not that I don't trust you. But those odds are hard to swallow, Adrían.

Noldana.

[adrii]

None of this has been easy to swallow but we choke it down just the same.

Noldana.

[oneirophrenic]

At the very least, would you run your next announcement about our sudden abandonment of ethics past me? I can at least help with the messaging.

Noldana.

[adrii]

Fine, but I can't promise to use it if it's too soft.

Noldana.

[oneirophrenic]

It wouldn't be soft, but we cannot afford to alienate people or cripple morale. How we communicate matters almost as much as what we do. And if we are, for all intents and purposes, throwing ethics out the airlock, the least we can do is ensure people don't feel dismissed or made small in the process.

Let Maryle review your research. Hear Ronen's concerns in full. Be explicit that this is not something you want to do — that you don't fundamentally disagree with them — but that, as things stand, it is the only viable option.

Because you don't want to do this. Right?

Noldana.

[adrii]

Everyone is acting as though this is the first time we've bypassed an ethical line.

I will hear Ronen out after he's calmed down. I will give Bone access to the summaries but not the details - she isn't trained to read the results and accurately assess them.

Noldana.

[oneirophrenic]

Fine.

[...] And I apologize for what I said about convenience. That was out of line.

Noldana.

[adrii]

I'm staying in my office for the foreseeable future. Your apology is noted.

Noldana.

[oneirophrenic]

Adrían, come on.

Noldana.

[adrii]

I'm holding onto what is left of my sanity as my methods and ethics are called into question by everyone capable of typing an opinion. Forgive me if I don't want to be around another person who thinks the worst of me.

Noldana.

[oneirophrenic]

Adri, I could never think the worst of you. You are an extraordinary scientist, and what you’ve already accomplished surpasses what most people ever believed was possible. I have no doubt that this next step — however much it unsettles me — will be executed as well as it can be.

What gives me pause is the breadth of what could go wrong. The margin for side effects is wide enough to frighten all of us, and that fear is what you're hearing. This is not the same kind of risk as climbing into a plane to shoot down drones. It touches people we know and love in ways that are harder to predict or contain. I know you can understand that.

So please know this: my reaction was never a lack of faith in you. Of course I believe in you. I spoke badly, it was an absolutely wretched thing to say, and I regret it. But you are my best friend and one of the most important people in my life. Nothing you choose to do — nothing at all — could change that.

[adrii]

Read

[oneirophrenic]

Noldana - an hour later.

[adrii]

No, it's not the same. It's safer. The monitoring alone makes it safer because I can be warned when something is likely to go wrong. Philip doesn't get that whenever he gets into that damned plane. Eva doesn't get that when she's on the ground. None of them get that when they're out there. If something happens, it happens and they're dead or injured or back under the fucking Veil, putting everyone here in danger.

If you think that I haven't been through every damned scenario ad nauseum, or that I don't worry I'm not as smart as I pretend to be and that someone will die as a direct result of my actions, then you don't know me, Novak.

Noldana.

[oneirophrenic]

I know you wouldn't consider this unless it was a last resort, Adrían.

Noldana.

[adrii]

It doesn't feel that way.

Noldana.

[oneirophrenic]

What do you need from me? What could I say or do that would make it clear this isn't true? If you truly want distance, then I'll accept that. I would just prefer that you didn’t retreat from me entirely, Adri.

Noldana.

[adrii]

You threw yourself and Philip in my face to try to prove a point, Niko.