nnovak ‖ 001

[oneirophrenic]

It seems that it is once again time for a periodic reminder of what behavior is acceptable where. Congratulations, everyone: it has been eight (8) months since my last post on this topic. A new record! However, let us not rest on our laurels, as I have recently borne witness to some of the most horrifying behavior yet.

Acceptable Library Behavior:
› Reading
› Quiet contemplation
› Listening to music
    › This insistence on Philip Glass over, say, Chopin continues to grate, but that is a topic for another time.
› Studying without narrating your thoughts aloud

Unacceptable Library Behavior:
› Eating fragrant foods
› Making out like a pair of schoolchildren
› Loudly humming to the aforementioned classical music, and in the wrong key
› Clipping your toenails ‼️

You may be asking yourselves: "Niko, surely no one is clipping their toenails in the library. Why even add that?" I regret to inform you that I saw it with my own eyes (I will not name names), and that it is the worst thing I have personally witnessed since Shaq's album release party in 1993. (Did you know Shaq released an album? Now you do.)

It is a small ship. Let us try to be kind to one another! And, if at all possible, spare each other such unpleasant sights.

Comments

[rjacobson]

Then I think we might need to get you into medical to have your eyes checked.

[murphyy]

my eyes're fine.

[rjacobson]

They might be a little hazy.

[murphyy]

or you're both just old enough to be my dad.

[rjacobson]

Ouch.

[murphyy]

it's just true.

[rjacobson]

And the truth hurts.

[murphyy]

don't worry, i'm sure there're people on board who're happy to notice whether you're more or less attractive than novak.

[oneirophrenic]

Cease. None of this is true and you know it.

[rjacobson]

Come on, there's a slight numerical differential.

[oneirophrenic]

No more than .5, if that.