nnovak ‖ 001

[oneirophrenic]

It seems that it is once again time for a periodic reminder of what behavior is acceptable where. Congratulations, everyone: it has been eight (8) months since my last post on this topic. A new record! However, let us not rest on our laurels, as I have recently borne witness to some of the most horrifying behavior yet.

Acceptable Library Behavior:
› Reading
› Quiet contemplation
› Listening to music
    › This insistence on Philip Glass over, say, Chopin continues to grate, but that is a topic for another time.
› Studying without narrating your thoughts aloud

Unacceptable Library Behavior:
› Eating fragrant foods
› Making out like a pair of schoolchildren
› Loudly humming to the aforementioned classical music, and in the wrong key
› Clipping your toenails ‼️

You may be asking yourselves: "Niko, surely no one is clipping their toenails in the library. Why even add that?" I regret to inform you that I saw it with my own eyes (I will not name names), and that it is the worst thing I have personally witnessed since Shaq's album release party in 1993. (Did you know Shaq released an album? Now you do.)

It is a small ship. Let us try to be kind to one another! And, if at all possible, spare each other such unpleasant sights.

Comments

[chemveil]

Ok, but public shame does wonders for behavior modification.

[humanityresource]

You're smothering the self-expression of our coworkers.

[loculus]

Naming names is the only way to keep this a civilized society.

[orlaith]

that's a hitable offence

[murphyy]

there's a no kissing in the library policy?

[oneirophrenic]

A fair point, but everyone making accusations and regarding their fellow Mnemo residents with such skepticism is rather amusing to me.

[oneirophrenic]

I don't know if it is a policy, but this isn't Sweet Valley High.

[chemveil]

Ohhh, I see, we're shit stirring. Give us some hints. They don't even have to be true.

[oneirophrenic]

Is that preferable to the alternative, which would be smothering the offender with a pillow in their sleep?

[murphyy]

is it better or worse when they make out in the common area?

[oneirophrenic]

Please see my response to Maryle.

[agueyegrey]

What if we make out like adults?

[murphyy]

pretty sure novak's been making out in the library and just doesn't want us to suspect 'im.

[oneirophrenic]

Yes. I've never seen someone so unburdened by shame.

[humanityresource]

Murder is typically considered a greater offense than public displays of affection.

[loculus]

With who?

[oneirophrenic]

Hm. Equally offensive. Take it elsewhere.

[riio]

This is the right question.

[agueyegrey]

I'm a genius like that.

[oneirophrenic]

They are not in the Espionage Cell.

[loculus]

If anyone takes your announcement's timing as an indication of my behaviour, you'll pay dearly.

[technosignatures]

i prefer hong nanpa myself.

[oneirophrenic]

When other people are trying to read?

[murphyy]

jacobsen.

[witlessbay]

eli's sounding out the words. no need to call him out.