nnovak ‖ 001

[oneirophrenic]

It seems that it is once again time for a periodic reminder of what behavior is acceptable where. Congratulations, everyone: it has been eight (8) months since my last post on this topic. A new record! However, let us not rest on our laurels, as I have recently borne witness to some of the most horrifying behavior yet.

Acceptable Library Behavior:
› Reading
› Quiet contemplation
› Listening to music
    › This insistence on Philip Glass over, say, Chopin continues to grate, but that is a topic for another time.
› Studying without narrating your thoughts aloud

Unacceptable Library Behavior:
› Eating fragrant foods
› Making out like a pair of schoolchildren
› Loudly humming to the aforementioned classical music, and in the wrong key
› Clipping your toenails ‼️

You may be asking yourselves: "Niko, surely no one is clipping their toenails in the library. Why even add that?" I regret to inform you that I saw it with my own eyes (I will not name names), and that it is the worst thing I have personally witnessed since Shaq's album release party in 1993. (Did you know Shaq released an album? Now you do.)

It is a small ship. Let us try to be kind to one another! And, if at all possible, spare each other such unpleasant sights.

Comments

[murphyy]

there's a no kissing in the library policy?

[oneirophrenic]

I don't know if it is a policy, but this isn't Sweet Valley High.

[murphyy]

is it better or worse when they make out in the common area?

[oneirophrenic]

Hm. Equally offensive. Take it elsewhere.

[murphyy]

there's only so many places to be. don't know why we're policing people so much in them.

[oneirophrenic]

I don't think asking people to be considerate of the people around them is policing them.

[murphyy]

i'm not real bothered by people making out while i'm reading.

[oneirophrenic]

I admire your resolve.

[arasch]

Is that another one of your soaps?

[oneirophrenic]

Hah. No, thankfully, I dodged that bullet. It's an American book series for young women.

[arasch]

Maybe the library have copies.

[delilahs]

was that your high school?

[loculus]

Now this is a violence against too many of us.

[jaxsons]

Have you ever felt older in your life?

[loculus]

I tried to scroll away and threw out my back.

[jaxsons]

I'll lend you my walker. I'm gonna roll it down the hall.

[delilahs]

is it not a real school? it's not the show he was on, is it?

[loculus]

No. And no, although he would have turned heads as Todd back in the day.

[delilahs]

what's todd's vibe

[oneirophrenic]

I'm beginning to think we need to up the age limit for the organization.

[delilahs]

Not knowing your references doesn't make me bad at my job

cade.

[murphyy]

nah, he's just struggling with being old.

cade.

[delilahs]

He should consider working through his age related issues with a therapist

[oneirophrenic]

No, of course not. That isn't what I meant at all.

[delilahs]

What did you mean