nnovak ‖ 001

[oneirophrenic]

It seems that it is once again time for a periodic reminder of what behavior is acceptable where. Congratulations, everyone: it has been eight (8) months since my last post on this topic. A new record! However, let us not rest on our laurels, as I have recently borne witness to some of the most horrifying behavior yet.

Acceptable Library Behavior:
› Reading
› Quiet contemplation
› Listening to music
    › This insistence on Philip Glass over, say, Chopin continues to grate, but that is a topic for another time.
› Studying without narrating your thoughts aloud

Unacceptable Library Behavior:
› Eating fragrant foods
› Making out like a pair of schoolchildren
› Loudly humming to the aforementioned classical music, and in the wrong key
› Clipping your toenails ‼️

You may be asking yourselves: "Niko, surely no one is clipping their toenails in the library. Why even add that?" I regret to inform you that I saw it with my own eyes (I will not name names), and that it is the worst thing I have personally witnessed since Shaq's album release party in 1993. (Did you know Shaq released an album? Now you do.)

It is a small ship. Let us try to be kind to one another! And, if at all possible, spare each other such unpleasant sights.

Comments

[chemveil]

Ok, but public shame does wonders for behavior modification.

[oneirophrenic]

A fair point, but everyone making accusations and regarding their fellow Mnemo residents with such skepticism is rather amusing to me.

[humanityresource]

You're smothering the self-expression of our coworkers.

[oneirophrenic]

Is that preferable to the alternative, which would be smothering the offender with a pillow in their sleep?

[loculus]

Naming names is the only way to keep this a civilized society.

[oneirophrenic]

Please see my response to Maryle.

[orlaith]

that's a hitable offence

[oneirophrenic]

Yes. I've never seen someone so unburdened by shame.

[murphyy]

there's a no kissing in the library policy?

[oneirophrenic]

I don't know if it is a policy, but this isn't Sweet Valley High.

[agueyegrey]

What if we make out like adults?

[riio]

This is the right question.

[oneirophrenic]

When other people are trying to read?

[adequacies]

What does that even mean?

[technosignatures]

i prefer hong nanpa myself.

[oneirophrenic]

I can't say I'm familiar. Is there a particular song you would recommend?

[witlessbay]

eli's sounding out the words. no need to call him out.

[oneirophrenic]

I'll let Eli defend himself here.

[jaxsons]

But I like my laurels.

[oneirophrenic]

Yes, I suppose you do look quite dashing while you rest on them.

[reidings]

Someone was clipping their toenails in the library? I almost wish I didn’t know that.

[oneirophrenic]

While Philip Glass was playing.

[griiff]

I'm real sorry, Nikky. I thought my humming wasn't loud.

[oneirophrenic]

[...] Oh. Well. Accidents happen, Griff. Think nothing of it.

[fiia]

But her husband was in the room and we had nowhere else to go :(

[oneirophrenic]

I can't tell if you're being flippant or not.

[stayonscript]

You have such a talent for provocation.

[oneirophrenic]

Yes, I seem to have struck a nerve.

[backdrive]

I can't believe you're an enemy of love, Mr. Novak.

[oneirophrenic]

Sorry, what?

[cjacobs]

You have painted a picture.

[finotti]

I think we can go as far as saying keep your shoes on in the library

[arasch]

Probably folded into the toenails one but good to be precise.

[arasch]

We could start banning repeat offenders.

[witlessbay]

could we get a wall of shame first? what if the toe guy walks among us