nnovak ‖ 001

[oneirophrenic]

It seems that it is once again time for a periodic reminder of what behavior is acceptable where. Congratulations, everyone: it has been eight (8) months since my last post on this topic. A new record! However, let us not rest on our laurels, as I have recently borne witness to some of the most horrifying behavior yet.

Acceptable Library Behavior:
› Reading
› Quiet contemplation
› Listening to music
    › This insistence on Philip Glass over, say, Chopin continues to grate, but that is a topic for another time.
› Studying without narrating your thoughts aloud

Unacceptable Library Behavior:
› Eating fragrant foods
› Making out like a pair of schoolchildren
› Loudly humming to the aforementioned classical music, and in the wrong key
› Clipping your toenails ‼️

You may be asking yourselves: "Niko, surely no one is clipping their toenails in the library. Why even add that?" I regret to inform you that I saw it with my own eyes (I will not name names), and that it is the worst thing I have personally witnessed since Shaq's album release party in 1993. (Did you know Shaq released an album? Now you do.)

It is a small ship. Let us try to be kind to one another! And, if at all possible, spare each other such unpleasant sights.

Comments

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

You would have been a hit on television. You're the right height for it, too.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

Has your back improved now that you're not craning your neck down to look into the cameras? You also seemed so uncomfortable.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

My back is perfectly fine. Now, did they ever make you stand on an apple box to take your headshots?

Dominiko.

[loculus]

No, upon the back of hired help; someone who wronged me in graduate school.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

I'm sure he readily agreed to it, what with those disarming good looks of yours.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

What can I say except I have two decades' worth of negotiation training under my belt.