nnovak ‖ 001

[oneirophrenic]

It seems that it is once again time for a periodic reminder of what behavior is acceptable where. Congratulations, everyone: it has been eight (8) months since my last post on this topic. A new record! However, let us not rest on our laurels, as I have recently borne witness to some of the most horrifying behavior yet.

Acceptable Library Behavior:
› Reading
› Quiet contemplation
› Listening to music
    › This insistence on Philip Glass over, say, Chopin continues to grate, but that is a topic for another time.
› Studying without narrating your thoughts aloud

Unacceptable Library Behavior:
› Eating fragrant foods
› Making out like a pair of schoolchildren
› Loudly humming to the aforementioned classical music, and in the wrong key
› Clipping your toenails ‼️

You may be asking yourselves: "Niko, surely no one is clipping their toenails in the library. Why even add that?" I regret to inform you that I saw it with my own eyes (I will not name names), and that it is the worst thing I have personally witnessed since Shaq's album release party in 1993. (Did you know Shaq released an album? Now you do.)

It is a small ship. Let us try to be kind to one another! And, if at all possible, spare each other such unpleasant sights.

Comments

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

That depends. How resourceful are you?

Dominiko.

[loculus]

Which one of us cobbled together mojitos using only what they found in an abandoned Kraków apartment?

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

The mojitos that were akin to paint stripper. I remember them well.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

I took paltry supplies and turned them into lasting memories. Resourceful.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

A resourceful tease.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

You only asked if I was resourceful, not what classification thereof.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

To answer your earlier question: Professor Novak values a resourceful, thorough, and motivated student who shows initiative. One who appreciates hands on learning.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

I don't recall practical exams from the syllabus.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

I reserve certain assessments for students with potential, you see.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

"Potential," he says, as though my original 12 wasn't proof enough.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

I've learned not to rely solely on past performance. Even 12s merit periodic reevaluation.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

And I've learned not to grovel when someone revises my worth.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

A shame. You're very pretty when you beg.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

I'm very pretty all of the time, Nikola. There are no exceptions.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

And so humble, too.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

You know as well as I do that knowing how one's perceived by others is crucial when recruiting. You're handsome in an intimidating way, I in a disarming one.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

You would have been a hit on television. You're the right height for it, too.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

Has your back improved now that you're not craning your neck down to look into the cameras? You also seemed so uncomfortable.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

My back is perfectly fine. Now, did they ever make you stand on an apple box to take your headshots?

Dominiko.

[loculus]

No, upon the back of hired help; someone who wronged me in graduate school.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

I'm sure he readily agreed to it, what with those disarming good looks of yours.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

What can I say except I have two decades' worth of negotiation training under my belt.