nnovak ‖ 001

[oneirophrenic]

It seems that it is once again time for a periodic reminder of what behavior is acceptable where. Congratulations, everyone: it has been eight (8) months since my last post on this topic. A new record! However, let us not rest on our laurels, as I have recently borne witness to some of the most horrifying behavior yet.

Acceptable Library Behavior:
› Reading
› Quiet contemplation
› Listening to music
    › This insistence on Philip Glass over, say, Chopin continues to grate, but that is a topic for another time.
› Studying without narrating your thoughts aloud

Unacceptable Library Behavior:
› Eating fragrant foods
› Making out like a pair of schoolchildren
› Loudly humming to the aforementioned classical music, and in the wrong key
› Clipping your toenails ‼️

You may be asking yourselves: "Niko, surely no one is clipping their toenails in the library. Why even add that?" I regret to inform you that I saw it with my own eyes (I will not name names), and that it is the worst thing I have personally witnessed since Shaq's album release party in 1993. (Did you know Shaq released an album? Now you do.)

It is a small ship. Let us try to be kind to one another! And, if at all possible, spare each other such unpleasant sights.

Comments

[loculus]

With who?

[murphyy]

jacobsen.

[loculus]

They must have missed me so much that they sought solace in each other, and one thing led to another...

[humanityresource]

Just try not to disrupt Espionage with all of this heartbreak and drama.

[loculus]

Did Taryn not warn you that's why I was placed in the field in the first place? I'm sure there are photographs of me in my mid-twenties around somewhere, you'd understand if you saw them.

[humanityresource]

I'm sure you were quite the looker. It's a good thing you're so old and undesirable now.

[loculus]

I grew the beard to protect your precious department.

[murphyy]

hormones bloom in lonely places or whatever.

[loculus]

Is this a new song?

[murphyy]

not sure there's any such thing as new music.

[loculus]

The unVeiled cities and communities can have incredible artists.

[chemveil]

Ain't seen nothing yet, Chirp.

[loculus]

Don't tell me you and Taryn have begun something, too.

[chemveil]

Sadly, my heart belongs to the sea.

[loculus]

Another good friend of mine, I was the sea's best man at its 87th wedding.

[stayonscript]

I have no idea what's going on here, but if you could all kindly leave me out of it?

[oneirophrenic]

Did you toss some names into a hat and go with the first one you drew?

[murphyy]

can't reveal my sources, novak.

[jaxsons]

He's not one for PDA. I'm a reliable source.

[adrii]

Are you?

[murphyy]

then maybe you shouldn't be making announcements 'bout what he likes?

[rjacobson]

Of all the people possible, why are you picking me for this joke?

[murphyy]

rumors are what they are.

[rjacobson]

I don't think anyone is going to actually believe me and Novak have been making out.

[murphyy]

i'd believe it. [...] i'm obviously joking about it being a rumor, but i'd still believe it.