nnovak ‖ 001

[oneirophrenic]

It seems that it is once again time for a periodic reminder of what behavior is acceptable where. Congratulations, everyone: it has been eight (8) months since my last post on this topic. A new record! However, let us not rest on our laurels, as I have recently borne witness to some of the most horrifying behavior yet.

Acceptable Library Behavior:
› Reading
› Quiet contemplation
› Listening to music
    › This insistence on Philip Glass over, say, Chopin continues to grate, but that is a topic for another time.
› Studying without narrating your thoughts aloud

Unacceptable Library Behavior:
› Eating fragrant foods
› Making out like a pair of schoolchildren
› Loudly humming to the aforementioned classical music, and in the wrong key
› Clipping your toenails ‼️

You may be asking yourselves: "Niko, surely no one is clipping their toenails in the library. Why even add that?" I regret to inform you that I saw it with my own eyes (I will not name names), and that it is the worst thing I have personally witnessed since Shaq's album release party in 1993. (Did you know Shaq released an album? Now you do.)

It is a small ship. Let us try to be kind to one another! And, if at all possible, spare each other such unpleasant sights.

Comments

[loculus]

Do you have any further questions? I know how thorough you like to be.

[oneirophrenic]

Y Ye OBVIOUSLY No, of course not. It seems as though you have covered everything.

[loculus]

Odd. I can't shake the feeling that I did miss something...

[oneirophrenic]

Curious. I certainly can't think of anything.

[loculus]

It was likely to sing the praises of another 10 but there's so many on board. Adrían, perhaps?

[oneirophrenic]

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

If you make me watch you sing Adrían's praises I will invent a new method of murder.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

You two are still at each other's throats?

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

Perhaps. It's the principle of the thing.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

It's like watching two male bettas put in the same tank.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

Have I done something to you? Are you a secret agent sent here to ruin my night and possibly my entire life? Why are you dragging this out?

Dominiko.

[loculus]

If you didn't ask me those things I was about to say it's two beautiful things engaged in a pointless battle to the death, which I assume would have helped water down some of the salt in your wound.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

It does help, thank you.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

You're welcome. And I dragged it out because you make it fun.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

Yes, people keep telling me that. I suppose I'm glad I can still provide entertainment in one way or another.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

Please, you're far more than entertainment value. Would you like to learn a secret?

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

Always. Perhaps I will share one in return.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

If I had such books, Adrían wouldn't exceed an 8.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

On a scale of 1-10, you are a 12.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

Then I'm in good company. Please inform Maryle, who would claim the beard pitches me down to a 4 on a good day.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

That is extreme. But if I had your jawline, I would never hide it.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

That's what the shape is for.

Dominiko.

[oneirophrenic]

Domingo, it is not quite the same.

Dominiko.

[loculus]

It's what's on offer and is non-negotiable.

UNSENT.

[oneirophrenic]

Technically, none of it is on offer, as you have once again
'Offer' has connotations of