nnovak ‖ 001

[oneirophrenic]

It seems that it is once again time for a periodic reminder of what behavior is acceptable where. Congratulations, everyone: it has been eight (8) months since my last post on this topic. A new record! However, let us not rest on our laurels, as I have recently borne witness to some of the most horrifying behavior yet.

Acceptable Library Behavior:
› Reading
› Quiet contemplation
› Listening to music
    › This insistence on Philip Glass over, say, Chopin continues to grate, but that is a topic for another time.
› Studying without narrating your thoughts aloud

Unacceptable Library Behavior:
› Eating fragrant foods
› Making out like a pair of schoolchildren
› Loudly humming to the aforementioned classical music, and in the wrong key
› Clipping your toenails ‼️

You may be asking yourselves: "Niko, surely no one is clipping their toenails in the library. Why even add that?" I regret to inform you that I saw it with my own eyes (I will not name names), and that it is the worst thing I have personally witnessed since Shaq's album release party in 1993. (Did you know Shaq released an album? Now you do.)

It is a small ship. Let us try to be kind to one another! And, if at all possible, spare each other such unpleasant sights.

Comments

[oneirophrenic]

Is that preferable to the alternative, which would be smothering the offender with a pillow in their sleep?

[humanityresource]

Murder is typically considered a greater offense than public displays of affection.

[murphyy]

nah, you got it backwards. pda is the worst offense possible.

[humanityresource]

Is that right? Then it's a good thing I've never kissed anyone here.

[riio]

Really?

[humanityresource]

Really.

[riio]

Respectfully, I don't believe you.

[humanityresource]

And I can't think of any way to convince you.

[murphyy]

guess we're both safe from novak's law.

[humanityresource]

What a relief. We can use the library in peace, so long as we leave our toenails out of it.

[murphyy]

luckily for novak, i do all my nail clipping in the bathroom.

[oneirophrenic]

I feel as though I should say I'm not entirely against PDA.

[humanityresource]

He has a heart after all.

[oneirophrenic]

Please don't tell people. They might get the wrong idea.

[humanityresource]

That you share some similarities with your romantic on-screen personas?

[oneirophrenic]

I don't want people thinking I'm sentimental. That wouldn't do at all.

[philiip]

No, I'm shocked.

[oneirophrenic]

Parties, bars, restaurant bathrooms, what have you. But shared common spaces are another story.

[philiip]

What are were the Emmy afterparties like?

[oneirophrenic]

There was far more cocaine at the primetime Emmy afterparties than the Daytime ones.

[philiip]

Got to keep the party going?

[loculus]

Someone on board's building a robust psychological profile of you from this post alone, Nikola.

[oneirophrenic]

There's no need to be coy. You can admit it's you.

[loculus]

I don't have need, mine was deemed complete c. 201 8 AI.

[oneirophrenic]

You've never shared your findings with me.